Tilt and Whirl – For KSTP-TV Meteorologist Matt Serwe and His Husband Derek Pacula, Love Is a Grand Grind

It started out as a whirlwind, and, like any whirlwind, it wasn’t meant to last.  

Matt Serwe was swept up by this whirlwind, which, under other circumstances, might have damaged his credibility as a meteorologist at KSTP-TV…but this whirlwind had nothing to do with the atmospheric wobbles generated by rising heat and descending cold.  No, this whirlwind had to with web developer Derek Pacula.  

“Like any other modern gay love story, we met on the app,” Derek Pacula remembers.  “You know, the classic modern-day love story. I get weird saying the name Grindr for meeting my husband, but yep, that’s it.”  In other words, the marriage of Matt Serwe and Derek Pacula is rooted in the application that usually spawns grunt-drunk unions which amount to little more than a tornado with no strings…because, according to popular experience, strings tend to tangle tornadoes.  

The whirlwind revolving around Serwe and Pacula persisted, but only by taking on the character of a serious relationship, replete with emotions and sharing and stuff.  “The first December we were dating, he [Pacula] brought me to his company Christmas party,” Matt Serwe reminisces.  “We were at the table with the CEO and his wife.”  

“I was five months into this job by the way, very new,” Derek Pacula qualifies, “and his wife had asked how we met…” 

“Derek said, ‘Online,’” Matt Serwe says.

“And Matt just whips out, ‘Oh, we met on Grindr,’” Derek Pacula says.

“There were a few dropped jaws and rosy cheeks around the table,” Serwe, ever the dutiful scientist, is happy to report.

Pacula, ever the dutiful husband, is a little less happy in his reporting, focusing on his boss’s wife.  “The color on this poor woman’s face…and probably my face,” he frets.  “I thought I was going to be fired!”

The whirlwind held together, spinning past this moment of sanguine oversharing…but a certain chill threatened to halt its grind.  Recalls Pacula, “When our relationship started to go beyond friendship, he [Serwe] said to me, ‘We can’t move forward unless you come out to your family.’”

This was no small ask.  “At that time, I wasn’t ready to do it and wasn’t even sure if I ever would be,” Pacula contends.  “I was going through my own personal struggle, afraid of the possibility of losing my family.”

This not-small ask was not asked in a small-minded way, however.  Asserts Serwe, “At that point in my life, I was completely out, personally and professionally.  I had zero desire to go back in the closet in any aspect of my life.” 

Selfishness was not the raison d’étre for this uneasy impetus—quite the opposé, in fact.  “Derek and I come from similar enough backgrounds:  traditional Catholic Midwest families,” Serwe continues.  “I wanted that freedom and relief for him, even if it would mean some pain initially. It was difficult to come out to my mom, but I also remember how freeing it was to finally do it.”

Pacula’s big reveal more-or-less echoed that of his future husband.  “I did come out, and yeah, it was tough having that conversation with my family,” admits Pacula.  “It wasn’t easy for my parents, as they wondered if they had done something wrong.  After some time, they realized they didn’t do anything wrong, and we now have their full support and love.”

In addition to liberating both men, this small act of big bravery served as a barometer for the romance itself.  “It shows how we both knew early on where this relationship was headed,” Serwe notes.  “I wasn’t going to make him go through all that and then dip out a few weeks later.  He was going to have my love and support.” 

Their collective openness serves a purpose beyond the boundaries of their life partnership.  “Being out is not only important for individual well-being, but it also holds broader significance in terms of representation,” Pacula insists.  “Representation matters because it helps combat stereotypes and dispel misconceptions. This visibility can have a profound impact on others who may be struggling with their own identities, providing them with role models and a sense of belonging.”

Such visibility is a particularly visible visibility for the half of the couple who regularly appears in living rooms and dens all around the Twin Cities Metro Area.  “I’m absolutely aware that me mentioning my husband on TV still has a big impact in some homes,“ Serwe declares.  “Ever since I met Derek, I’ve been out on air, tossing in references to my boyfriend or fiancee or husband.  I understand the impact I can have being out on TV. It’s an easy way I can help someone feel more seen and accepted and help challenge the more close-minded viewers.”

And after the studio lights go dim and the science is tucked in and cameras dream of electric sheep?   The whirlwind abides.  Serwe affirms, “Derek has helped make me into the best version of myself. I’m forever indebted to his love, support, and motivation personally and professionally. Marriage is about growing together, and he has pushed me to do a lot of growing.”

In this particular whirlwind, the wind whirls two ways.  Pacula considers, “There is a lot in my life since dating and being married to Matt emotional support, commitment, and growth have impacted us both greatly. It’s nice to have a partner that can fulfill those needs and wants into something hugely impactful.”

If the experience of Matt Serwe and Derek Pacula is any indicator, the whirlwind of emotions and sharing and stuff is much like the Minnesota weather–it can be wonderfully unpredictable.  “Yes, Grindr may have been the unconventional starting point, but it brought us together, and we couldn’t be happier about it,” Pacula gushes.  “Love really does have a way of surprising you when you least expect it!” 

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