Tea Time Offers Trans Feminine Individuals A Space To Build Community And Access Resources

Tea Time at The Aliveness Project is a peer support network for trans femme-identifying individuals that offers a safe space, resources, and ways to build community. This program started in March, 2022 after many organizations and meeting places were either shut down or severely affected by the COVID-19 pandemic, according to Amber Muhm (She/Her), Tea Time co-facilitator and HIV outreach and prevention specialist.
“There were all these trans femmes who had come out during quarantine who had nowhere to go,” she said. “Then [Tea Time] was started, not only for the community aspect because we needed it, but also because trans women are the number one group that are affected by HIV, specifically Black trans women.”
Through The Aliveness Project, they offer access to PrEP, HIV care, HRT injection kits, PrEP referrals, and safe sex supplies at every meeting along with having a space for trans feminine people to access supportive services and talk with each other about issues their community faces.
Aliveness will soon offer a pharmacy in their building that will offer HIV-positive and PrEP care as well as HRT for those who choose to pursue that as part of their transition, according to Muhm.
Beyond HIV and HRT resources, Tea Time fosters an environment for connection. Muhm began attending meetings in May 2022 and has been going ever since, now running the program alongside Sainte Lopez (She/Her).
“I went from having literally zero trans friends, let alone trans feminine friends, to going to every meeting to being a volunteer lead to working for aliveness and running the program,” she said.
The meetings are every second and fourth Thursday of the month from 5:30 p.m. to 7 p.m. at The Aliveness Project, located at 3808 Nicollet Ave. There are also monthly online discussions through their Discord server, consisting of about 300 members from the Twin Cities and Greater Minnesota.
Muhm said the meetings are 18+ and are a mix of informative and fun. Meetings range from an HIV clinic with the Minnesota Department of Health and trans femme-centered self-defense clinics with Atlas Defense to bra fittings at Aerie and nature walks in the summer. Meetings are free to attend and food is provided at every meeting.
“It’s a really good way to get into the community and to make social connections,” Muhm said. “You go there to meet other trans feminine people and to get some support and resources and then kind of branch off and find your own way.”
She said people use the Discord server, Instagram, and the networking aspect of Tea Time to make plans and connections outside of meetings, which is the goal of the program. The best way to keep up with Tea Time’s meeting schedule is through their Instagram @teatimeataliveness.
Muhm said trans women in particular don’t have a space to meet where it’s just them. Tea Time provides a safe and understanding space to talk about trans feminine-specific issues.
“I love being in a community with trans people but there’s something to be said about being in that exact part of the gender spectrum, in that you’re in the same solar system in the universe of gender, to be able to talk to other people and to be able to access services that are specific to our demographic,” she said.
Muhm said during her transition she felt like she had to do everything on her own because of the lack of an organized trans community in St. Cloud, let alone one for trans femme individuals.
“It’s been interesting as a lead to see people who come to Tea Time that are brand new to transition and see, even within the first six months or a year that they keep coming back, how much they flourish and then I kind of compare it to where I was before and it’s night and day,” she said.
The program has been hugely successful with 35 to 40 people at every meeting and constantly growing with new members, according to Muhm. She added that now is an important time for Tea Time to exist as more trans people are coming to Minnesota who will need support.
“Since trans refuge hit we’ve been getting five to 10 new people every single meeting, so a good third to fourth of the people coming are brand new members either because they moved here or because they’re new to transition,” she said.
Tea Time also creates a shared pool of knowledge for trans women to access making their experiences less isolating and alienating. It’s difficult to figure everything out on your own and navigate trying to get various services, which is where having a community comes into play.
Whether trying to find a good surgeon, understand estrogen levels, or find feminine clothing in sizes that will fit, people at Tea Time are willing to help each other navigate the various issues trans women may come across.
“Having other people to bounce off of, having people that have done it or who have connections or can find you the answer to who can do it is just incredible for people’s transition on their gender journey,” Muhm said.
Beyond meetings, Tea Time hosts events for the community every year such as a potluck at the end of May and their annual trans prom in July.
This year the prom is on July 20 from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. at The Neu Neu in Minneapolis. The prom is open to all trans people and is 18+, free with a suggested donation, and is a sober event. Muhm said there would be live DJs and food from Centro, a Mexican cuisine restaurant.
She said since the event is sober, there will be an official after-party at Eagle Minneapolis from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. with four trans DJs and a cover charge that will be set at a later date, which will serve as a fundraiser for Tea Time.
“That’s our big event of the year that we do for the community and both events are open to all trans people, their partners, and their friends to show up, have fun, and dress however you want,” Muhm said.
Beyond the annual prom, you can get involved with Tea Time at any of their meetings, their Discord server, or utilize all of the HIV support resources at Aliveness.
“I urge all trans feminine people and all trans women to show up at least once, go on the [Discord] server, or contact us,” she said. “Every trans feminine person that I know who has gone to Tea Time, Tea Time has left an impact on their life.”

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