PregnantTogether Builds Community for Growing LGBTQ+ Families

From preconception to parenting, starting a family can be difficult at any stage of the journey. With the many paths to starting a family, reproductive care often fails LGBTQ+ families and single parents.

When Marea Goodman went through their pregnancy journey, they felt lonely, vulnerable and overwhelmed despite being a midwife who has been helping queer families for a decade. That’s why they started PregnantTogether, an online community that supports queer and solo parents in their family journey.

“I often hear from clients and community members that they don’t really know anyone else who is queer and growing their family … and there’s just this pervasive feeling of aloneness that many people have throughout this process,” Goodman says. “I thought that the online community forum would be a really cool way to share resources and connect people with other folks going through it.”

PregnantTogether offers resources, guidance, community and support groups through every stage of your journey. Between tracking and timing inseminations to legal resources on protecting your queer family, PregnantTogether aims to meet all your needs.

The organization started as a pregnancy group to support those trying to conceive, but grew to be more as they discovered what people wanted and needed. Now they offer things like a fertility tracking chart, how to thrive in LGBTQ+ relationships, fertility challenges and how and when to change course, one-on-one meetings, workshops, virtual monthly support groups, anti-racist parenting and more.

“We have a pretty robust library now of probably almost a hundred recordings and resources with the goal of helping the process be as smooth and straightforward as possible, kind of like a one-stop shop for queer family building,” Goodman says. “It’s a lot of different virtual spaces where people can get a break from the very heterosexual world that is family building, and also just to connect on the unique things that folks are going through and ask questions and get support.”

With reproductive care still centering heterosexual couples, Goodman says queer people can feel isolated and not supported, especially the non-gestational parent. It can also be difficult for nonbinary parents with many familial terms being rooted in gender, like husband, wife, mom and dad.

Everyone experiences this differently, and everyone deserves the dignity to be their full, authentic self while growing their family, Goodman says. Things like pregnancy don’t have to be a feminizing experience, nor do people need to affirm societal expectations.

PregnantTogether has a provider directory that providers who have skills and experience with the queer community can sign up for and help people find places where they’ll feel welcome. Additionally, people comment, connect and help each other get referrals to avoid painful or traumatic experiences.

“I think being connected to other people who understand you and understand what it takes to go through helps build a really essential amount of resilience to help you through every stage of this process from conception through parenting,” Goodman says. “When we feel connected to a community, it boosts our mental health, and that is also really good for our children.”

As we’re more isolated in the modern world, we all feel like we need to do it all alone, regardless of our orientation or relationship, but it takes a village to grow a family and to parent, Goodman says. Access to information and community is especially important with the fear and challenges across the country.

Goodman says more people are starting to have legal concerns for situations such as legally protecting their family, ensuring second-parent adoption and going to different states for reciprocal IVF. Alongside resources on the website, lawyers will also be speaking about protecting families at PregnantTogether’s first virtual conference in November.

To maintain a safe space, PregnantTogether costs $20 a month or $200 a year, but Goodman is willing to be flexible if people can’t afford it. The conference is included with a membership or costs $40 for the two days, but two sessions are free and open to the public.

The “Together” virtual conference, created by and for queer families, will take place on November 4 and 5 and will feature sessions like queer family building, trans and nonbinary parenting, mental health providers and include raffle prizes.

PregnantTogether continues to grow with its members and maintains a place for queer people to receive support and guidance through their family journey. Whether you’re thinking about starting a family or are in the postpartum/parenting stage, there are fellow queer people on PregnantTogether at the same stage and willing to support one another throughout each step.

“I think that’s always been one of the strengths of the queer community is sharing resources and helping each other find our way, but PregnantTogether is just more of like a compact place where people can connect and ask each other questions,” Goodman says.

Learn more about PregnantTogether at pregnanttogether.com.