LGBTQ+ Parental Rights Challenged, Upheld in Minnesota

Sperm donors can deliver the dream of family for those who can’t conceive otherwise — especially LGBTQ+ families. But when known sperm donors decide years later they want parental rights, that dream can quickly become a waking nightmare.

That is precisely what happened to Juli and Catherine Sheridan.

When the Sheridans decided they were ready to be parents about seven years ago, they chose a close friend of Catherine’s as their sperm donor. Chris Edrington, who officiated the couple’s wedding in 2017, agreed to be their donor.

A large part of the decision to go with a known sperm donor was the cost. The average vial of sperm costs anywhere between $470 to $2,420, according to Cryos International.

“If we were a straight couple, we wouldn’t have to pay any money to have a kid, so let’s try to have a kid without paying any money,” Juli says.

The Sheridans say knowing their child’s genetic history and being honest with their child about their background is also extremely important.

“We wanted someone that was a known sperm donor, that would have a relationship with the child,” Juli says. “And really, no matter who we would have chosen as a donor, we knew that Chris was going to be a part of this child’s life because he was such a significant part of our life, which also is why it just felt very natural to ask him.”

Edrington babysat every Tuesday and remained close with the Sheridans, at least for a while.

Around 2021, Edrington began posting on social media with the child, and people would comment referencing him as the father. This didn’t sit right with the Sheridans. Edrington knew from the beginning he would not be a parent, but he seemed reluctant to publicly correct those who thought he was.

Juli says Edrington filed suit for partial custody on a Friday, just three days after babysitting. Edrington usually stuck around to chat for a bit when the Sheridans got home, but Juli says he was less talkative that day.

“I was like, ‘Oh, that’s kind of weird that he didn’t come in or say hi or anything,’” Juli says. “But then again, I’m like, maybe he’s got somewhere to go or whatever. And then, on Friday, we got the lawsuit.”

Catherine says it was a complete betrayal. Edrington never brought it up to the couple before filing suit.

“I thought he was my best friend,” Catherine says. “It was completely out of the blue.”

The Sheridans hired Mary Pat Byrn as their attorney, who tried to get the case dismissed. This was denied, and the Sheridans brought on Erica Holzer to fight the case in the court of appeals. They say they couldn’t be more thankful for their queer legal team.

“We just really got screwed into this situation and got like the worst District Judge possible, I feel like, but thankfully, the court of appeals were able to correct all of her mistakes,” Juli says.

According to Holzer, Edrington tried to prove his paternity of the child in family court, which is an absurd argument in a case where you have agreed to be a sperm donor. The court of appeals decided that using genetic testing to establish parental rights in this case was incorrect.

“Parentage is supposed to be automatic. It’s supposed to be seamless, you know, it’s supposed to be intuitive,” Holzer says.

Juli says, if they could go back, the couple would have made a written donor agreement rather than relying on a verbal one. She says the written agreement may not have changed much, but it would have been some nice peace of mind during their legal proceedings.

Holzer says the Sheridans were largely protected under the Minnesota Parentage Act. The Minnesota Parentage Act protects presumptive parents and establishes them as guardians unless otherwise challenged. This protected Juli’s rights, as the biological mother. Now, because same-sex marriage is legal and the Act assumes gender-neutral language, Catherine is also a presumptive parent because she is Juli’s partner.

Holzer says that, even though there is this presumption within the act, a co-parent adoption in these cases would be useful in making parental rights concrete.

“Because then you’ve got a court order,” Holzer says. “It’s no longer in the presumption land, it’s in court order land where you’ve got a court order that has declared the birth mother and her spouse to be the two legal parents.”

The Sheridans say support from their community and GoFundMe helped them through this long process. Their GoFundMes raised around $30,000.

“What’s most upsetting, and especially now that we won the appeal, is that we shouldn’t have gone through this,” Juli says. “The laws were clear as they were written, and really all we were doing was asking the courts to uphold the laws that were already in place.”