‘Finding Our Way’: Caregiving, Book-Writing and the Life That Happens While Life is Happening

Caring for aging loved ones is a difficult journey, no matter what. Whether you’ve cared for an aging parent, grandparent or loved one yourself, or you’ve watched someone else do it, you know it’s a time filled with fraught difficulties, devoted love and, oftentimes, confusion about the right thing to do. That’s precisely why Minnesota author Leslie Vick wrote her debut book, “Finding Our Way.” Her book is part-memoir, part-caregiving guide and all honest and raw.

“My [writing] process is rooted in storytelling,” Vick says. “I journaled, reflected and gathered real moments from caring for my loved ones — both the tender ones and the difficult ones — and shaped them into something that could speak to others going through similar experiences.”

Vick’s experience with caregiving actually began long before she started her own journey caring for her father, Tom, and later, as the sole caregiver for her aunt, Helen. She grew up watching her grandmother, Gretchen, care for and dote on her chronically ill grandfather, Phil, through all of his pains and trouble walking, and “endless issues,” which would eventually take over their lives.

“Phil passed away at home, as Gretchen comforted him, and we all said good-bye,” she says.

Watching her grandmother taught Vick what a caregiver does and showed her a hard truth: that caregiving takes a resolute, loving, durable person — that it is a warm thing and a lonely thing. Vick considers this act of love by her grandmother to her grandfather to be her first experience watching a caregiver in action.

These experiences, both watching her grandmother and providing care herself, pushed Vick to write “Finding Our Way.”

“I wrote much of the book while I was still actively caregiving, which meant there were days I was writing late at night and after doctor’s appointments and long conversations,” she says. “Writing became a way to process grief and exhaustion, but also to celebrate the love and resilience I witnessed every day.”

Vick also knows that caregiving is not only challenging work, but it’s often invisible work. Her book works to shed light on the “emotional, logistical and overwhelming” labor that caregivers do every day — and to let readers know they are not alone in their struggles or their triumphs.

“Finding Our Way” includes “practical advice alongside heartfelt stories, encouragement and a reminder that there is no ‘perfect’ way to care for someone you love.” Readers can expect to find useful tips, relatable stories and compassion for the journey they are taking with their own aging loved ones.

Vick also notes that this book might be engaging to a queer audience for another reason entirely.

“‘Finding Our Way’ isn’t explicitly about queerness, but it is about chosen family, acceptance and creating safe, affirming spaces for our loved ones,” she says. “Those values absolutely resonate with the LGBTQ+ community. Many queer folks know what it means to redefine family or friends, and caregiving often mirrors that — showing up for each other with love, no matter what.”

Caregiving, as Vick says, is “so much more than bed pans, prescriptions and appointments.” It’s a true labor of love, and a frequently thankless one, at that.

As you find your own way through your caregiving journey, let Vick’s experiences serve as a guiding light. “Finding Our Way” will make you laugh, cry and possibly (hopefully!) keep you from pulling your hair out as you navigate an intimately challenging time in your life.

It’s a sweet sort of consideration that, in her devotion to caring for family members, Leslie Vick also found a way to care for caregivers by writing this book. “Finding Our Way” will help you feel a little alone, whether you’re in the trenches of caregiving or just starting out.

You can find “Finding Our Way: A Guide on Care, Finances and Helping Through the End of Life Journey” on her website, leslievickbooks.com. And if you’d like to find out more about “Finding Our Way” and Leslie Vick as a writer, follow her on social media @findingourwaybook on Instagram and Finding Our Way on Facebook!