A Day in the Life: Harry Hartigan

Where did you grow up?

I grew up in Chicago on the West Side with my parents and eight siblings. I have lived in Minnesota for the past 46 years. I lived in Burnsville, then Minneapolis. I lived in New York for a year (1988-89) while working for Northwest Airlines.

Where do you live?

I currently live in South St. Paul. I am fortunate to live in a Dakota County Senior Community. The building is designed for independent living that allows me to age well and safely. I believe that, as a sole senior, I need to advocate for myself and make the best choices for me. 

Who do you live with?

I live alone in a great apartment. The building I live in has 60 units with amenities (security, community room, underground parking, elevator, accessibility features for aging well).

What is your occupation?

I am retired, but not really; I am an ordained priest, parent, grandparent and great-grandparent. I provide spiritual support to folks in recovery and advocate for LGBTQIA seniors. I spent my working life in multiple careers (retail, airline industry, legal and higher education).

When did you come out?

I began my coming out process in 1982. I returned to college to finish my degree that was interrupted by the Vietnam War and military service. I took a course called Human Sexuality with a fabulous professor, and this opened the door for my journey of coming out as a gay man. Every day is a coming out day, and I refuse to allow anyone to deny who I am as a human being. As an older same-gender-loving person, the struggle is ongoing.

How’d that go?

Coming out is never easy because of our social norms. Coming out was the most difficult journey I have ever taken. As a married man (husband), father of three amazing children and human being living a “straight life,” it was brutal. Coming out during the AIDS epidemic complicated this journey. My therapist captured my journey perfectly when he said, “You arrived at the station, and someone blew up the f—ing station.”

When do you wake up?

I wake up every day at 5 a.m. The military training has never left me. I am a creature of habit. The early morning hours allow me to meditate, think and plan my day. COVID has changed the way I operate. I am not rushing out the door any longer.

Phone alarm or old school alarm?

The old-school alarm is on the nightstand, but I normally wake before it starts playing music.

What’s the first thing you do in the morning?

Grab my glasses and check the weather. 

Breakfast?

Breakfast is important for me. Steel-cut oatmeal, eggs or protein shake. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day.

Coffee?

Black coffee jump-starts my day. 2 cups of black coffee every day. A day without coffee just will not work.

Cream or no?

No cream; good black coffee needs nothing added.

How do you spend your commute?

No commute required these days. 

What do you nerd out for (gaming, music, history, etc.)?

I nerd out on HGTV! 

What music have you been digging lately?

My taste in music is simple. Loss of hearing means I need music to be clear, mild and relaxing. I love music from the ‘60s and ‘70s. 

Is your workspace tidy or a hot mess?

I am compulsive, so my workspace is tidy. 

What’s been your favorite job?

Being an ordained priest has allowed me to do incredible things. I have officiated weddings, funerals, special services for folks. I have officiated three weddings in prison settings. I officiated a gay couple’s wedding at a place called MSOP Moose Lake. I can support folks during their most difficult journeys and their most important events.

Favorite weeknight meal: Go out, takeout or cook in?

As a sole senior, cooking for one isn’t as enjoyable as it should be. Cooking at home is far better than going out or takeout. Homemade chili is wonderful. 

On a usual weeknight, you are doing what?

It seems that my weeknights are simple and easy. Dinner, TV or connecting with friends. Since I spend time in the morning on work, I try to limit my time on technology. During football season, I seem to watch a lot of games. 

Bedtime?

Between 9 and 10 is bedtime. I need 7 to 8 hours of sleep.

Favorite weekend activity?

My weekend activities vary with the seasons. Fall and winter revolve around football, either games for my grandsons or NFL games. My team is the Kansas City Chiefs. My church on Sunday is the NFL! Spring and summer, I enjoy biking and spending time outside. 

What are you most proud of, and why?

I am most proud of my children and grandchildren. Imagine having a gay dad, grandfather who isn’t hiding in the closet but is a priest/human being who is active and willing to be visible and vocal. My children and grandchildren have been awesome in supporting me during the challenges of life. Each of my children and grandchildren had a role in my ordination. 

Words of wisdom to share:

Cherish the people in your life, be there for those you love.