Out in the Stars
Horoscope for June 5-18 It’s not every day that a little ray of sunshine casts its spell on our squalid little corner. Pack your shades this period, as Venus and Mars continue their cosmic jostle, and now trine transformative Pluto. Our hearts and actions help us manifest our destinies. Be sure your hands are clean, and your motives are pure.
ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 20)
Every time it rains, it rains pennies from heaven. Well, maybe just this period. Proud Rams find the time to savor their recent fiscal success, but should consider saving for the inevitable dry spell. Do your investment homework, consult trusted financial advisers, and plan your eventual retirement while you can. Good things sprout, and I don’t mean hay. Hey, hey.
TAURUS (APRIL 21-MAY 21)
You are the queen of the ball. Queer Bulls find themselves in the epicenter of all social activities this period, so dive into the pool, and expect to get in over your head. Meet as many new people as possible now. New beginnings bring fabulous results. But beware of excess. You may overcommit to overflowing. Don’t become so awash in things that you wash away.
GEMINI (MAY 22-JUNE 21)
Pink Twins have the inspirational feeling of oneness with the world. Stock up on the mellow karma, kiddo, and dole it out in dollops for good gay works and charitable community endeavors. Even a small effort has impactful, lucky results now. However, stop everything to take a necessary vacation if you find yourself humming to Yanni.
CANCER (JUNE 22-JULY 23)
Your friends become your intimates this period. So, widen and enliven your social circle. Plot tête-à-têtes with kindred souls. If you’re interested in joining a particularly select group, chances are better than average that you will be accepted. But gay Crabs are far too fun-loving to hang around all those dress shoes without eventually scuffing them.
LEO (JULY 24-AUGUST 23)
Plan your corporate ascent. The sky is the limit, or at least it seems that way. Proud Lions are affable folks who can charm almost anyone. Try your hand with superiors and those in power now with your charismatic magic touch. Then, build a corporate gay mafia. If absolute power corrupts absolutely, try to become absolutely corruptible.
VIRGO (AUGUST 24-SEPTEMBER 23)
Queer Virgins now should envision themselves lolling around in some faraway hot tub or on some faraway island. Reward yourself now without all the guilt. Life could be worse, you know. You have approximately three weeks to set sail for your own piece of paradise. After that, the opportunities will abate, as will your interests and desires. Bon voyage!
LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 24-OCTOBER 23)
The fates provide the bubbles in your champagne, so don’t be afraid to pop your cork this period. You are even more sexually inspired than usual, so see how creative you can be. Proud Libras now recognize that life is a bowl of cherries…or is it a bar full of cherries? Whatever the heck fills your appetite, take a few nibbles. And toss those pits!
SCORPIO (OCTOBER 24-NOVEMBER 22)
Relationships go from the ridiculous to the sublime this period. Gay Scorps tend to overlook deficiencies and quirks of partners, thanks to their innate, somewhat idealistic current state of mind. But all good things eventually pass, so don’t allow too many nights to go by with underwear on the lampshade. Some things even a delusional Scorpio cannot abide!
SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 23-DECEMBER 22)
Gay Archers know the value of a good day’s work this period. All projects, no matter how onerous, go more smoothly, and the rewards seem more palpable. Other things may be brewing on the job aside from a cup of coffee. What will awaken the carnal desires of even the lowliest of drones? Maybe it has to do with all that caffeine?
CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 23-JANUARY 20)
Party hearty, pink Cap, and go well beyond the limits of your imagination. The temptation will be to expand your artistic impulses to the limit. No invitation will be refused. No crazy experiment will be left in the crate. If you ignore limitations, you could find yourself a dissipated old relic with sandbox mouth before the period is over. However, what a way to go!
AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21-FEBRUARY 19)
Aqueerians can find common ground with difficult family relations. No need to feel you have to compromise on an important issue, but the cosmos ensures that you can make your point without rupturing family relationships forever. You also are able to establish comfortable home surroundings for yourself. Heck, you deserve it.
PISCES (FEBRUARY 20-MARCH 20)
Astute Guppies charm the stars from the sky this period. Use your considerable power of persuasion to take your personal agenda one giant step out and about, and give it clout. Expect a large following of adoring groupies hanging on your every word. Are you sure you can handle all the attention? You may have to bag that pocket protector.
© 2009 THE STARRY EYE, LLC. All Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only. Lichtenstein’s blog www.thestarryeye.typepad.com covers everything New Age. Her astrology book HerScopes: A Guide to Astrology for Lesbians is the best in tongue-in-cheek astrology.