Out in the Stars
Horoscope for Nov. 21-Dec. 4 Mars pushes into rowdy Sagittarius, and directs our energy force into new battles. We feel compelled to make good use of time. Good! Storm the barricades, friends, but beware of the moat. Oops!
ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 20)
Mars in Sadge pushes all the right buttons, and corrupts your hard drive. That’s what you get for cruising the Internet! Gay Rams are revved and raring to expand their Outreach in all possible ways. Get creative, and get going. You only have a few short weeks to plan and implement a grand global jaunt. How jaunty do you want to get, pal?
TAURUS (APRIL 21-MAY 21)
Sexy Mars in Sadge mounts a personal campaign for all queer Bulls. (Are there any other types?) You are hot to trot and in a full gallop for the next few weeks. The value of your personal stock rises, among other things. Are you buying or selling, sweetheart? Use the Mars oomph to its best advantage, lover. Be proud, be smart, but don’t behave.
GEMINI (MAY 22-JUNE 21)
Even independent pink Twins feel the pull of commitments this period. You are tempted to solidify and strengthen relationships…or seek new ones if the mood strikes you. But don’t tear down what simply needs a bit of sprucing up. Mars gives you the unbridled energy to tie up loose ends, and corral your stallion. Ride ’em, cowpoke. Yeeha!
CANCER (JUNE 22-JULY 23)
Zesty Mars gives all energetic gay Crabs a good excuse to reassess their diet and exercise regimens. Dust off your health club membership, and get those sweats out of mothballs, buddy. This is no time to be lazy. Mars effuses you with the passion to get that dry-docked boat out on the high seas again. It’s never too late to dive in, and get wet.
LEO (JULY 24-AUGUST 23)
Proud Lions are placed on the A-list of party hearties this period. You are tempted to let loose, and have a great time. How Outrageous can you get? Why not channel this oomph into something more productive. Creativity soars, increasing your urge to explore all realms of artistic pursuits. Do all you can to create a gay masterpiece, Picasso.
VIRGO (AUGUST 24-SEPTEMBER 23)
There is no compromise with recalcitrant family members, when no-nonsense Mars enters Sagittarius. It’s about time, queer Virgin. Things need to be said. Things need to be done. Open up your Pandora’s Box of complaints, and air ’em Out. Guess what? All your fears disappear in the light of day. Mars gives you courage as well as energy. Use ample amounts of both now.
LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 24-OCTOBER 23)
Queer Libras are bursting with opinions this period. You are loud, proud, and queer for the next few weeks, so don’t be shy! But weigh your words carefully before you push things to the outer limits. (Is this really a bad thing?) Mars energy is about as subtle as a falling anvil. Your commentary could come back to haunt you. Boo!
SCORPIO (OCTOBER 24-NOVEMBER 22)
Money becomes the be-all and end-all for acquisitive proud Scorps now. Greedy Mars enters spendthrift Sadge, tapping your dollars and common sense. Don’t make this season too taxing by taking unnecessary fiscal risks with your wad. Careful financial planning and a close eye on the bottom line increase your assets, and limit your liabilities—or something like that.
SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 23-DECEMBER 22)
Mars enters your own sign this period, and puts a tiger in your tank. You are a social force to be reckoned with. Before you become a legend in your own mind, I suggest that you check your act at the door, and make it a point to retain that affable, genuine gay Sadge flair. Mars can be pushy. Push back, cousin.
CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 23—JANUARY 20)
Closeted queer Caps have their closets blown off their hinges this period. Come clean. Not a moment too soon, compadre! This Mars placement does not compromise, and neither should you. For those who hanker for a higher plane, this energy enables you to explore more spiritual outlets. Achieve nirvana with your favorite deity.
AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21—FEBRUARY 19)
Friends beat a path to your door, and Aqueerians looove the attention. You are in demand, and can tickle any taste bud. Send a mushy thank-you to marvelous Mars. Enjoy the gay camaraderie while it lasts, compadre. Before you know it, Mars will move on, and you will be just another putz with a karaoke machine. Hey, is it hot in here, or is it me?
PISCES (FEBRUARY 20—MARCH 20)
You have plotted and planned your corporate ascent, but not much has been happening—nothing much, that is, until this period. Guppies should prepare themselves for an opportunity to prove their mettle to the senior cogs. Put all your knowledge to work, and work all your knowledge. Don’t be shy. You are overflowing with aptitude.
© 2008 THE STARRY EYE, LLC. All Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only. Lichtenstein’s blog www.thestarryeye.typepad.com covers everything New Age. Her astrology book HerScopes: A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians is the best in tongue-in-cheek astrology.