Out in the Stars
Horoscope for Nov. 7-20 Mercury enters secretive Scorpio, making every thought and opinion a strategic maneuver. Let’s massage our message, and see how heated things become.
ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 20)
Gay Rams can’t seem to be able to get sex off their minds, or concentrate on anything else. Why fight it? But it has gotten to the point that love must provide you with more than a blissful lift. It needs to offer advancement and financing. How can you find your true soul mate who is willing to let you coast and spend? Mercury in Scorpio sez: Don’t worry—this shall pass.
TAURUS (APRIL 21-MAY 21)
Queer Bulls turn a thought or two to relationships. The very idea of being out and about with an attractive bookend is beginning to grow on you. But you would rather die than suffer the embarrassment of letting others know your need. Well, your big secret is Out. They already know…and they are trying to fix you up. Try to act surprised, OK?
GEMINI (MAY 22-JUNE 21)
Mercury in Scorpio makes you balanced and organized. Pink Twins feel in control. They can maximize their efforts with good planning, and stop any time-wasting leak. The secret to your success is to extend your excellent vibes into all areas of your life, not just on the job. All work and no play makes you just another side of beef in need of tenderizing.
CANCER (JUNE 22-JULY 23)
Do you feel the heated beat? It must be the thumping energy of manic Mercury in Scorpio. Gay Crabs are electrified and electrifying, as fun and creative ideas merge and glow. Connect to a few community grids, and see how hot you can burn. But take things as they come. Surges in power can lead to a blackout—or a lost weekend. Ah, but what a way to go!
LEO (JULY 24-AUGUST 23)
Proud Lions can settle in happily, and nestle in their nest, as Mercury enters Scorpio. Your mind is sparked with great home-decorating and entertaining ideas. Plan them out, and put them into action. This cosmic energy also provides the social buzz, so get your BlackBerry out, and add a few sweetened dates. You’ll be baking in no time. Who will be the first to taste a slice?
VIRGO (AUGUST 24-SEPTEMBER 23)
What is it about queer Virgins that leads them to think their opinions are the final word on the subject? I don’t know, but now, as Mercury enters Scorpio, you are certainly the mouth that roars. You have great charisma, attracting a willing and pliable crowd to your door. What ideas are percolating, pardner? Let them overflow instead of drip. Then, jump in.
LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 24-OCTOBER 23)
Thoughts quickly turn to money and even more money. Proud Libras discover how to stretch a dollar. Use this time to stretch it to the outer limits, and create a firm financial trampoline. Even in this dour economy, part of you longs to let loose, and spend to the hilt. Don’t. Consolidate your assets, and be sure to get what you pay for.
SCORPIO (OCTOBER 24-NOVEMBER 22)
You score with the paparazzi, when Mercury glides into your own sign. Smile! Queer Scorps seem to know exactly what to say at the exact right time to make the crowds roar with ecstasy. Because it comes so easily now, you have a tendency to fall into lazy patterns, and become an insufferable petulant diva. Ah, so is this new?
SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 23-DECEMBER 22)
Mercury in Scorpio recharges your intuition. Gay Archers suddenly feel that they have all the answers, as whispered to them by the wilde, untamed cosmic spirits. Before you broadcast these amazing insights to the general swirl, I would stop, and consider the source. Frankly, I don’t think Republicans and Democrats are having a kumbaya moment now.
CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 23-JANUARY 20)
If you are in the doldrums, without your usual circle of rowdy pals, you will welcome Mercury in Scorpio. Pink Caps are suddenly on the top of everyone’s “must do” list. Your social calendar fills to bursting. Be careful of what you wish, though. All this overactivity can make you feel like a slab of tired old rump roast. Pace yourself, and remain a tenderloin.
AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21-FEBRUARY 19)
Aqueerians always seem to have their beady eyes on the corporate prize. Now, as Mercury enters Scorpio, you find you can fulfill your corporate manifest destiny better with a few choice words to the right powers-that-be. Place yourself strategically in the center of attention, and let your natural political abilities run free. A stuffed shirt is born!
PISCES (FEBRUARY 20-MARCH 20)
Nothing eggs a Guppie on more than the opportunity to change the world. While I can’t promise miracles, I can say that Mercury in Scorpio will enable you to turn more than a few heads, and sway more than one opinion. Consolidate your thoughts, and present them globally through the Internet or other mass media. Leave out the screeds and the taunts.
© 2008 THE STARRY EYE, LLC. All Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only. Lichtenstein’s blog www.thestarryeye.typepad.com covers everything New Age. Her astrology book HerScopes: A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians is the best in tongue-in-cheek astrology.