Of Rarebits and Republicans

I happen across all kinds of possibilities while trolling for ideas for this column, some of which affect me viscerally, much like a modern-day Windsor McKay plot for his immortal cartoon “Dreams of a Rarebit Fiend.”

I have a friend in California—incomparable land of hyperbole—who delights in forwarding bits and pieces for my edification. In a state and a country that do not allow bakeries to peddle dream-filled brownies yet, these missives neatly fill the bill.

If you’re as attached to your electronic devices as some I’ve known, the following already may be old hat, but it’s new to me, and I enjoy spreading good news.

In a “Guest Commentary” on Buzzflash.com, writer Bill Berkowitz expatiates on the GOP’s “Gay Problem.” He delves into recent articles on the American Family Association’s news service OneNewsShow that are shocked—shocked—to discover antigay icons Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck have feet of clay.

Coulter has an upcoming speaking engagement at GOProud’s HOMOCON 2010. Beck is apathetic over the idea of same-sex marriage and the support for Ken Mehlman’s baby steps out of the closet. Hasselbeck embraces gay marriage.

Berkowitz quotes Peter LaBarbera, founder and President of Americans for Truth About Homosexuality (AFTAH), who found it “appalling” Beck should consider that homosexual so-called “marriage” does not rise to a national issue. Beck had commented dismissively, “I believe that Thomas Jefferson said, ‘If it neither breaks my leg, nor picks my pocket, what difference is it to me?’”

Stalwart Rush Limbaugh came in for LaBarbera’s censure for paying Elton John $1 million to sing at his wedding: “Elton John, although an extremely talented musician, is also a hardcore homosexual activist. He has said some preposterous things [like] Jesus would support homosexuality. And for Rush Limbaugh to sort of just ignore that is very troubling to me.”

Troubling to LaBarbera as well was TV personality Hasselbeck’s statement of her belief in gay marriage and women’s rights to their own bodies. In so doing, he wrote to her that she “really abandoned your conservative and Christian principles.” The two seem to be one and the same to him.

I must thank Berkowitz for his glimpse into the Rarebit Fiend dreams of this troubled ultraconservative. Wouldn’t it be amusing if LaBarbera and Company discovered the final truth about homosexuality was that nobody cared?

Sweet dreams!