Going to the Movies with Jeff & Drew: “Ice Age: Collision Course”
This movie makes you root for an asteroid to hit the earth, so you never have to see these characters again. Ice Age: Collision Course is the fifth installment of this prehistoric franchise. Back is Sid the Sloth (John Leguizamo), Diego the Sabre-Toothed Tiger (Denis Leary) and Manny the Woolly Mammoth (Ray Romano). Sid has a romantic crises and Manny is worried about his daughter’s impending marriage to someone he doesn’t much like. The jittery Scrat, whose unending quest for an acorn always provides a silent-comedy parallel plot, finds himself accidentally whooshed away into space via an alien ship, where he triggers a meteor shower that may wipe out all the comedic talking animals on Earth.
“In comedy, there is an unwritten rule to always build your joke, just don’t end up in space. Well, this is where this movie starts. The unkillable ‘squirrel-thing’ Scrat chases his acorn into a UFO and by chance hurls an asteroid toward Earth while playing pool with the solar system. The wordless, one track mind Scrat is the funniest thing in the film. Sadly, his slapstick scenes make up only a small part of this forgetful film.” —Drew
“This movie should have gone straight to DVD. It’s a rehash of the same story all the other Ice Age movies have told, but this time with way too many characters. The only thing it had going for it was the celebrity voices, which had no draw to the movie. With so many characters packed into the story, it was hard to care about what any of them were doing, while others had zero bearing on what was happening. Neil Degrasse Tyson couldn’t even add anything to this film.” —Jeff
“The only thing that makes this fifth chapter different from the other sequels is that it tries to make the most of previously introduced secondary characters, but fails miserably. The dinosaurs are back for no reason. The most forgettable characters return, and a few more less interesting ones are introduced. I couldn’t remember why they were important and how everyone met.” —Drew
“With so many characters, there is surprisingly little going on which makes this movie really drag. So little happens over such a large portion of the movie that you forget what the goal is. The second act seems disproportionately longer than any other part of the movie which makes the rushed third act end so anticlimactically that you again forget what the struggle was. Then, after what should be the end of the movie, there is still another scene that has little to do with the rest of the film, until the obligatory animal dance number signals the credits are rolling and you can go home.” —Jeff
“It’s unbelievably mind draining for anyone much over the age of 10. A few fun moments can’t disguise a franchise running on fumes.” —Drew
“My 7-year-old daughter, who loves these types of movies, and who usually recites most of a movie after one viewing, could not recall anything from this movie while the credits were still rolling. It is that forgettable.” —Jeff
Ice Age: Collision Course is a movie that isn’t that entertaining, repeats what it has done many times before, and has too many characters with too little development. Don’t waste your time going to the theatre for this one. Watch it when it’s on Netflix, if you feel compelled to see it at all.
Stars: Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Queen Latifah, Seann William Scott, Simon Pegg, Jennifer Lopez, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Jessie J, Keke Palmer, Adam DeVine, Wanda Sykes, Melissa Rauch Michael Strahan, Nick Offerman, Stephanie Beatriz, Max Greenfield, Chris Wedge
Score: 1.5 out of 5