Making Yourself Marriage Material


by Brigitte Jaeger, Elite Matchmaker


Being marriage material; what does this mean, exactly? Does it mean you are an ideal example of someone who will thrive in a strong and lasting relationship? Or does it just mean you are over the casual dating scene and ready to settle down with something more serious? No one is perfect, so what makes certain candidates marriage material over others?

Most importantly, being marriage material isn’t about being perfect, rather it is about knowing yourself, approaching your relationships humbly and possessing a willingness to fully commit your life to another person.

Anyone serious about marriage will want to seek out a partner who is marriage material; however, making oneself marriage material for your future partner is equally important. Marriage is a give-and-take relationship, as any healthy relationship will often require you to put someone else before yourself.

Preparing yourself for marriage can be overwhelming! How do you know when you are ready to move forward with such a commitment? To simplify, we are highlighting the top five characteristics we encourage you to strive for when pursuing marriage and gaining confidence in your relationship journey.

First, being marriage material is knowing who you are. You know what you want in life and where you want to go. You are confident and happy on your own. Your partner is a great addition to that happiness but you aren’t fully dependent on your partner for your happiness.

Second, the idea of commitment does not scare you. You are confident in being faithful and committing to one person. If you have any non-negotiables, you are able to identify and define them. You truly want to be with your partner — you don’t doubt that you need more time, space, and growing before you make a commitment to marriage. Not only do you have faith in the relationship, but you are also able to discuss the future and picture life with your partner.

Third, you understand that there is no perfect person. You go into marriage with realistic expectations. This includes appreciating, respecting, and accepting your partner for who they are, rather than trying to change them. You are willing to support your partner’s dreams, and also share similar desires for the future, allowing you to build your lives together.

Fourth, knowing how to deal with conflict in the right way. You can take responsibility for your own actions; taking bad experiences or disagreements and turning them into growth. You keep things in perspective. There will be bad days, but there will also be great days. It’s important to forgive and move forward, rather than getting stuck in the past. You are willing to admit when you are wrong and move forward. You are also willing to forgive your partner when they are wrong and move forward.

Fifth, you trust your partner. You are independent and can spend time apart, whether that’s going out with friends, traveling, etc. However, at the end of the day, you make the effort to spend quality time together. You do this regularly and value the time you have together. Although it’s important to have a life outside of the relationship, some dependency can be a good thing — it’s all about balance.

With all of these points in perspective, everyone has different criteria when searching for a partner; different characteristics they are drawn to. Although there are standard ingredients to building a healthy and happy marriage, it’s not about a standardized one-size-fits-all formula. Finding the right person for you is one thing; thriving in a successful relationship, and ultimately marriage, is much more. It’s about finding someone who is willing to commit, but also committing to putting in the time and effort to make that marriage succeed and last through the difficult times. It’s not about pretending to be perfect or molding oneself into an ideal candidate for marriage. Marriage material does not mean you earn a certain income, or look a certain way. Instead, it’s about knowing yourself, committing to building a life with someone else, working with them when times are hard, and having a willingness to put that individual before yourself. Above all, it means you are willing to love selflessly and invest yourself to be part of something more!


Elite Private Search is a specialized matchmaking firm that represents men searching for their perfect match. Matchmaking is very personalized and confidential — great care goes into every match made. Read more at

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