Leather Life: IML Leather Market in Lyrics

This year marks the 40th International Mr. Leather (IML) contest (May 24-28, 2018). For many years, one of the major attractions of the IML weekend has been the Leather Market, which started in 1988 with five vendors. Since then the IML Leather Market has grown, and it now routinely attracts about 100 vendors and thousands of customers shopping for leather, latex, and all manner of fetish supplies.

But as far as I know, the IML Leather Market has never been immortalized in the form of song lyrics. Until now.

The following set of lyrics was inspired by, and is based on, a song called “Come to the Supermarket in Old Peking” by Cole Porter.*

Come to the Leather Market at IML

Refrain 1:

If you want a leather jock
Or a comfy cock ring for your cock
Or a collar with a Master lock
Or a sling to ring your bell,
Come to the Leather Market at IML.

Or if you want a leather vest
Or a harness that shows off your chest
Or some cowboy wear that’s worn out west
Or a pin for your lapel,
Come to the Leather Market at IML.

They have:
ID Lube,
Astro Lube,
Super Lube,
Über Lube,
In a tub, in a tube,
Liquid, cream or gel.

So if you want a caped costume
Or some dungeon fixtures for your room
Or some Locker Room, that sweet perfume
With the scintillating smell,
Come to the Leather Market at IML.

Refrain 2:

If you want some snakebite kits
Or some tasteful tit clamps for your tits
Or some latex wear that really fits
And looks sexy as all hell,
Come to the Leather Market at IML.

Or if you want a length of chain
Or a cane that’s simply inhumane
Or a paddle that’ll cause some pain
And will make its target yell,
Come to the Leather Market at IML.

They have:
Finger rings,
Nipple rings,
Navel rings,
Nasal rings,
Floggers with both thuds and stings
That feel absolutely swell.

So if you want a kilt that’s bold
Or a dildo that’s remote-controlled
Or a cozy corset trimmed in gold
That will truly cast a spell,
Come to the Leather Market—
You’ll find lots of things you won’t find at Target—
So come to the Leather Market at IML.

FOOTNOTE:

*“Come to the Supermarket in Old Peking” was written in 1958 by Cole Porter, and was one of the last songs he wrote. Barbra Streisand included the song on her debut album in 1963.