If You’re a Ma’am, You’re Fam


Photo by BigStock/Meni Photos

Since January 2020, Ma’am has been offering a safe, welcoming community for lesbians forty and older.

If there’s one thing that’s detrimentally been missing from most of our lives these days, it’s community. Sure, we have Zoom, FaceTime, and all of the other video-calling platforms, even fun new activities like virtual yoga or online book clubs. But there’s the sense of community, the human connection, that isn’t quite as strong as many of us would like.

I’m an introvert, so initially I was all over this quarantine shindig. But that was in March. It’s now November, and I’ll be honest, I miss people. I’ve seen one or two friends at a time here and there, I’ve visited family in the area, and I’ve participated in several Black Lives Matter protests around the Twin Cities, so I’m still interacting with people. But it’s different. We’re all in masks. There’s a tangible uncertainty in the air when people move within six feet of each other. We have to get tested before and after. It’s just… weird.

I’m lucky because I have a wonderful partner and dog at home, so it’s always quite lively. And I have several jobs and volunteer with Communities United Against Police Brutality and the encampments of unhoused folks around the cities. So I’ve been able to distract myself pretty well. But I’m desperate for the personal connections that I took for granted before I was shut away to my tiny apartment. I miss restaurants, bars, movie theaters, coffee shops, and all of that. But what makes me miss all of those things and more is community.

Photo courtesy of Storyblocks.com

If you’ve recently moved, started a new job, or are just in a new phase of your life, the pandemic has surely presented even greater challenges. But it’s important to remember that we really are in this together, and even though things are weird and community feels a lot different than before, it’s still there.

Ma’am is a community for lesbians who are forty years and older, and though the organization just started in January 2020 (just in time for COVID-19 to shut everything down…), it’s been an appreciated community for many.

“As co-founders, we had been long-time friends of 30-plus years and decided we wanted to create Ma’am so lesbian women had a social gathering, where women could look forward to a night of networking, making new friends, maybe even finding a date, but most importantly feel a sense community,” says Ma’am co-founder Beth Mejia.

Mejia, who founded Ma’am with Kate McFarland, says Ma’am is a traveling event and changes venues on a monthly basis, with the goal of providing a fun, safe, and respectful gathering space for lesbians who are 40 and older. Though the group is specifically for lesbians, Mejia emphasizes that Ma’am is inclusive and welcoming to everybody.

“We work with whoever is hosting our event to make sure they truly support the community,” Mejia says.

So if you, like me, have been missing a sense of community these days, if you’ve been feeling a bit trapped and like you need to talk to other adults who aren’t your partner or dog, Ma’am is ready to welcome you with open arms.

For more information about Ma’am, visit facebook.com/Maam-100519964780614/ or email [email protected].

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