Sex Talk: Kidnap Fantasies

The door opens. An intruder enters. He overpowers you, drags you away, and has his lascivious way with you. Sound like fun? It certainly does to some guys. Observes one fellow who cruises online, “Every once in a while, I’ll run across an ad from someone who wants to be the ‘victim’ in a kidnapping scene. And I’m betting that a lot more men fantasize about it.”

Sick? Beyond the pale? Well, it’s safe to say that most of the men who’d like to be abducted don’t really want to be victimized. Rather, they’d like to be the central character in a carefully planned, crotch-hardening drama–it’s the difference between riding a roller coaster and falling off a cliff.

“Kinky guys often have fantasies that could be viewed as antisocial, if you want to be uncharitable about it,” says one bottom who’s pretty twisted himself. “They can often be manifested verbally, like blurting out, ‘That’s it, rape my butt!’ But as long as it’s consensual, who cares?”

So why would a guy find abduction appealing? As with other outré obsessions, the lure of the forbidden can get a dude’s dingus stiff. And the tang of danger adds still more spice. “Let’s face it,” says one fellow with a flogger, “most of us lead rather uneventful day-to-day lives. One cool thing about consensual SM scenes is that they seem a lot more dangerous than they really are. They’re the proverbial walk on the wild side that so many of us crave.”

Consensual SM is built around the concept of the “power exchange.” Kidnap fantasies go beyond consent, though, and that prospect makes things less safe and more exciting. Stripped of both his clothes and his will, a supposedly kidnapped bottom would no longer be responsible for his desires, his pleasure…or anything else.
Plenty of edgy stuff can be successfully simulated. But a kidnap scenario is tough to convincingly act out. Says our fellow with a flogger, “You might think that most men would want to be the ones in power. But if you ask me, a kidnapping is mostly a bottom’s fantasy. Bringing off a kidnapping scene would be, after all, a major project for a top. If an SM master wanted to get a submissive under his control, why would he mess around with stocking masks and a rental van, when some rope and a few knots would do the trick?”

Another top agrees. “I’d like to think I’d have power over a bottomboy because I’m so incredibly hot and commanding, not because I’ve slipped him knockout drops and locked him in a toolshed.”
No doubt about it–an abduction scene takes a whole lot more planning and work than a blowjob. And consensual “kidnapping” could – should the police or nosy neighbors not be in on the joke–get the pretend-perps in plenty of trouble. At least one lucky “victim,” though, actually got the drama of his dreams. Says he, “For my birthday, my boyfriend and some pals arranged to rope and shackle me, throw me in the back of a panel truck, and drive me off to the woods for some outdoor fun and games. I struggled, sure, but not too much. And the candles weren’t the only things that got blown that day.”

Not everyone has such considerate friends, of course. Setting up a home invasion scene, maybe ending with a bit of bondage in the basement, is a safer alternative to a full-fledged spiriting-away. And most folks into kidnap scenes may just have to settle for flights of mental fancy or a bit of verbal violation during sex.

There are, clearly, some things that no one who’s sane would want to experience. But in the realm of erotic fantasy, anything goes. If the idea of abductions gives you an erection, be assured you may be on the kinky side, but you’re not alone. Being brought down to an animal level does have its attractions.

If you want to be the one who gets snatched, though, don’t be surprised if it’s less than easy to find an obliging top man to realize your fantasy. And, whichever role you relish, don’t confuse raunchy role-playing with acceptable reality. Be careful who you play with, and how. Set things up in advance, and do it wisely. And remember – genuine abduction is a serious offense, and the kind of dates you’d get in jail may not be quite what you had in mind.

Simon Sheppard is the editor of Homosex: Sixty Years of Gay Erotica, and the author of Sex Parties 101, Kinkorama, and In Deep: Erotic Stories, and can be reached at [email protected]. Visit Simon at

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